Don't tell me...

Dear Reader,

don't tell me that i'm beautiful

until you've seen the marks

etched in my skin

and the ones on the inside,

on my heart,

that i hide.

don't tell me that i'm strong

until you've seen me break down,

fall apart,

time and time again,

and cry until the tears no longer come.

don't tell me that i'm a wonderful person

until i shut you out completely

and push you away

because i promised myself

that you are just like the rest

and you'll get tired of me too

don't tell me that i'm lovely

until you've seen what nights are like

and the terror that sometimes possess me,

seen me sob and tremble and question "why me?"

until i run out of air

and collapse.

don't tell me that i'll get through this

that this is only temporary

until you've seen the inner torment

inside of my mind

and the demons that refuse

to be silent.

but if you have seen that other part of me,

the scars, pain, insecurities, and bitterness

that i hide,

the voices that whisper during the day

and scream during the night,

the darkness lucking behind my smile,

and you still stay by my side

and think me truly beautiful,

then maybe... just maybe... i believe you.

-- Ella Cinder

**Credit goes to: Shelby Palko**